EternalMoonLight

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Rules of the site
Thu Nov 19, 2009 3:27 am by Mitsuki Sakura
  • Make your character before RP-ing.[First time, Warning. Second time, Temporarily ban. Third time, Permanent ban.]
  • No cursing. [Just keep it to yourself.]
  • Keep it PG-13.[Wanna do it... You got Pm.]
  • No godmodding.[This one ticks me totally off. Just play it fair.]
  • Be nice to everyone. [Yes, some may be weird or anything, but...keep being nice.]
  • No spamming on cb or someone elses approved application.[It's really irritating.]
  • No advertisement. [Just pm me or someone else to ask if you can advertise.]
  • Enter the other land with permission. [Ex.:If a vampire ask you (demon) to post in the Vampire land, Ask the Head admin for permission.]


If you keep following the rules, you might become an

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 Teaching Dead to roleplay.

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Caranore



Posts : 6
Reputation : 1
Join date : 2009-11-21

I.D.
Race: Demon
Character: Caranore
Points:
6/5000  (6/5000)

PostSubject: Teaching Dead to roleplay.   Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:00 pm

Caranore walked into the area and sat down on the grass under a tree, the dew from the early morning glistening in the rising sun's light. Looking around the area, he knew he ahd chosen the right place to help this poor soul out. It was a demon too, so that made life all the better.

Staying on the ground, he closed his eyes and began to meditate, utlizing the wind around him to enhance his senses.
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the dead
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Gender : Male
Posts : 246
Reputation : 3
Join date : 2009-11-21
Age : 27

I.D.
Race: Vampire
Character: Alucard and death
Points:
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PostSubject: Re: Teaching Dead to roleplay.   Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:04 pm

dead walked in and looked around there was a lake to the west and the moring dew was refreshing and then he saw someone siting there
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Caranore



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Race: Demon
Character: Caranore
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PostSubject: Re: Teaching Dead to roleplay.   Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:09 pm

Alrighty. Lets start here.

First off, use capitalization. for example, use the phrase "Dead walked in," not "dead walked in."

Secondly, use periods and commas to avoid run on sentences.

So what you would have then, using the first rule, is this: "Dead walked in and looked around. There was a lake to the west...." and continue from there.

Third, details. Add details to what you see. the scenery, the way the air feels, the sun rise, etc.

Fourth, dont make it all once statement. Use spaces and make them paragraphs.
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the dead
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Gender : Male
Posts : 246
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Age : 27

I.D.
Race: Vampire
Character: Alucard and death
Points:
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PostSubject: Re: Teaching Dead to roleplay.   Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:11 pm

Ah ok.

The lake was shineing with the riseing sun light.

The air was cool and crisp.
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Caranore



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Race: Demon
Character: Caranore
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PostSubject: Re: Teaching Dead to roleplay.   Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:13 pm

Better, now expand on it.

Like what i did.

"Caranore walked into the area and sat down on the grass under a tree, the dew from the early morning glistening in the rising sun's light."

That would be a sentence in a paragraph. so you walk in, and expand on the scenery. Imagine if you actually did walk into this place, what would you see, what would you smell and feel, etc.
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the dead
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Age : 27

I.D.
Race: Vampire
Character: Alucard and death
Points:
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PostSubject: Re: Teaching Dead to roleplay.   Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:17 pm

Dead walked into a lushes green forest there was dew drops on the tree leafs.

The air was crisp and cool the forest smelled of flowers.

There was a beautiful lake to the west where the light was shineing off it.

He looked around and saw a man siting down in the middle of this forest....
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Caranore



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PostSubject: Re: Teaching Dead to roleplay.   Tue Dec 01, 2009 12:49 pm

Better. Each sentence doesnt need to be spaced out though. You can have 2-3 or even 6 sentences in a paragraoh, so long as they are related. And then you would make the space, and start a new paragraph.

For now though, just concentrate on adding more details, but dont over use them. Detailing how the light reflected exactly off the lakes surface is too much, but noticing the clouds, or the way the wind shifted helps.
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the dead
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Age : 27

I.D.
Race: Vampire
Character: Alucard and death
Points:
545/5000  (545/5000)

PostSubject: Re: Teaching Dead to roleplay.   Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:06 pm

Dead walked into a lushes green forest the wind was moveing rapidly he looked around and smelled the flowers. He saw a man sitinh down in the middle of this forest
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Caranore



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Character: Caranore
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PostSubject: Re: Teaching Dead to roleplay.   Tue Dec 01, 2009 1:10 pm

Try and keep it going. Everything you type can be detailed a bit more. I want you to try and get a full paragraph, 5-6 sentences written and posted. Remember to capitalize, and use commas and periods when necessary.
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Teaching Dead to roleplay.
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